On the 31 October 2012 I woke up at 0300 hrs. and found myself preaching to a faceless gray mass of people in a sort of evangelical Southern Baptist preacher type way. It was like I was a third party hearing myself preach and wondering why I could speak words that even made sense at that time of the morning since I’m one of those guys that you shouldn’t ask any questions too until after my morning coffee as their isn’t a lot of wattage happening until then. It was a very strange experience and after the preaching I fell asleep again. When I woke up I decided to would write down what I think I said to this faceless audience.

The discourse was very evangelical and powerful with a call to repentance and reconciliation with God. Jesus was gently knocking at the door of our hearts asking if He could come in to commune with us in an intimate relationship.

I spoke of the torments of hell where the damned gnash their teeth and curse God in the eternity of the everlasting fire while they cry out, “What did I do to deserve this punishment?” They argued that they had been mostly good-hearted.

Jesus replied, “When I was cold and hungry did you shelter and feed me? When I cried to you for mercy did you show mercy? When I was in prison or in the hospital did you visit me? When I cried out in silent screams of agony in the womb did you hear me, and save me from my murderers? Did you teach my little ones to love me and take them to my bride, the Church, for instruction? Did you read my love letters, the bible, and did you allow the Holy Spirit to guide you in your life? Did you ignore the promptings to live a pure and holy life?

They replied, “But Lord who can be pure and holy? It is impossible!”

Jesus looked with compassion and said, “With God all things are possible. I gave you the Church, my bride, to guide you in right living. I gave you the sacraments so you could be renewed daily in love of God, and your neighbor. I gave you the sacrament of Reconciliation so that you would know beyond a doubt that your sins are forgiven and you can be restored to right relationship to Us. I even gave you my body, blood, soul and divinity in the Blessed Eucharist so that I could dwell on your tongue, in your body, and infuse your soul with my love so that you could begin to imitate me and my love for my people. I gave you written instructions for the path to heaven, and a road map in my bible and then asked the Holy Spirit to guide and console you on the journey home. I even assigned a special spiritual friend, your guardian angel, to guide and protect you from the wiles and snares of the devil, but you ignored his promptings and good advice.

Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and you defiled it by profaning what was sacred and driving Him from yourself because you allowed illicit and disordered desires and passions to rule. Who did you think convinced you that it was OK to live for the moment and cast all your teachings of the truth aside? Who did you think tempted you with sex outside sacramental marriage, greed for what you didn’t need, tempted you to pursue power, fame, and fortune when it would only lead to the dead ashes of remorse? Why did you not know that you were in a spiritual battle between good and evil and with every bad decision you joined the enemy of life in a closer embrace.

I kept calling you but you stopped up your ears with noise from your iPod’s and iPad’s, TV’s, computers, music, and fair weather friends. Finally you got to a place where you didn’t care about truth, goodness, and light. It was all about you, and what you could squeeze out of life, not realizing that your choice to ignore God would continue into eternity. You decided God wasn’t important and in the everlasting today of hell you will reap what you sow.

I tried to draw you back into my heart when you were faced with your own mortality when your parent died, and you almost returned, but hardened your heart. I’ve saved your life on the highway numerous times hoping you would recognize me as your savior, and you felt a tug, and then wrote it off as luck.  Every time I called you rationalized it away as unreasonable and fate. I have called, and you spit in my face. I have called, and you beat me with your contempt. I have called, and you dabbled in the occult and New Age practices in your search for peace and serenity. You could never see the reality that my grace and peace flow from a good conscience and out of love for Us and those that you were called to serve.

I came to earth to serve and not too be served and you were called to imitate me. Instead you have sought the easy way that has led to perdition. My narrow way has a cross that you had to carry to imitate me in my passion, and you refused.

Serenity and peace, that you found elusive, only flows from knowing you are loved both now and forever. The crosses and burdens of life would have been light if you had allowed me to carry them with you. In suffering for others we learn the greatest lesson of all; and that is to love with Our own heart and that of my mother, and your mother, Mary. If you had been willing to conform your will to mine you would have been freed to live out your calling, mission, and purpose like I did. If only you had cried out, “Father, forgive me my sins”  we would have rushed to embrace you, but you wouldn’t answer the call of love.